I would go down on you faster than GM stock
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
