So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
thus making me awesome and them whores
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
