I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
