champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
