its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I intend to get homeless drunk
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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