I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
