what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
