I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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