I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
