Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize