haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
