i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
