someone owes me an orgasm
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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