She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
