ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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