she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
