i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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