I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
