You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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