Pappa wants mamma naked
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
kristin has been a bad kristin
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
