im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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