Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
