Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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