Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
