I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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