Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
