She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
