you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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