Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
it's like heaven, but drunker
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
try to milk me bitch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
