What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
