I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
