Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
