I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
