Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
