So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
