She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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