i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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