when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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