We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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