What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
