Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
