Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
