I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
