We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize