haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Randomize
