i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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