I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
