with your own penis?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have aggressive nipples.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
