So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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