office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
