I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Randomize
